Help Me Be Me

As adults, subconsciously a lot of us are looking for someone to tell us what’s wrong with us. Like the subconscious is seeking out measurers–asking, “Are you someone who can tell me my worth in this particular way?” What part is doing this? The part that has a scar. And we are drawn to people who validate that implication – that subconscious fear/an unseen subconscious belief. This is for generating love, beauty and personal freedom. Adulthood– for me–has been the process of FREEING MYSELF from mental conditioning of all kinds. New things STILL dawn on me as I grow older. Which is so exciting – after you go through therapy and “solve yourself” to still recognize new insights as the years continue on. This is about freeing yourself from a limiting set of thoughts that is induced by someone else’s harsh or dysfunctional values and specific expectations. It’s also about coming home to a truer definition of love, beauty and ultimately a higher vibration for yourself. I send you all love – I wish you all beauty,…

When we are feeling seated in our own value and worth, we can be guided by our highest hopes for ourselves. This is about navigating from a constant place of course-correction toward our “highest compass” which I am loosely defining as that awareness we have when we first wake up in the morning. This has tools for navigating relationships that are formed on codependent terms: growing out of trigger-based loops. It is also about overcoming the self who is energetically depleted and reacts from a place of lack. We can always choose higher if we can recall our higher goals and use tools to jump the train tracks toward that higher goal. Sending love! Sponsors: AquaTru.com - get 20% off your purifier using promo code HELPMEBEME Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair.com to shop all things home Zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for 15% off your first order, plus free shipping on all US orders over $65. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yes, you think you can, but should you? If you are a “doer” who tends to do lots for everyone else, there is likely a part of you that is stuck in that position. It’s one that feels bound by duty and the expectations of others, yet it’s conditioned and created by us. But it almost feels as if we don’t have a choice. If you’re feeling overworked and threadbare, the first step is to recognize that you are living at the cost of yourself versus designing life based on the truth of who you are. This is a small lens shift. I think a lot of people live from a state of urgency and must – I must do it all, I cannot say no. This condition is sometimes referred to as “too perfect parenting” or being “high functioning" or "type A." For a recovering codependent, there’s an almost invisible line between being productive and being dysfunctional. I think the key question to ask yourself is “is it still working?” Sometimes in life– it is working. Sometimes it is too much and we need to take a step back to reassess. If you…

The hardest thing to do is be guided by the highest self versus the weakest, triggered self. The weakest self wants a fix: wants to self-soothe in the face of a low feeling. When we can create a strong routine and a safe container, we can be guided by our highest, wisest self and we will witness our life be guided by what we actually want. What does it mean to have a safe container? It means you can create a consistent pattern in your life where you are able to feel grounded, you can honor yourself, and you can boundary your life around the treatment you choose for yourself. When we are able to create consistency for ourselves in our personal bar for treatment – by eliminating negative treatment from others that violate that bar, what happens is we create a new normal: we see growth, healthy change and an increased feeling of value. This creates a feeling of safety and happiness. The little you – the inner child – feels honored, seen, respected. This is when healing and self-work really “takes” and we see…

Your attention is your superpower means that whatever you give attention to will grow. That is the simple takeaway I want to give you with this episode. The most powerful force in your life is your attention: what you focus on, what you grow with your focus, and what you move past with deliberate soothing very much dictates what the dominant trajectory is in your life. You can alter every situation with what you intend: it’s what creates outcomes in your relationships, and in the way you choose to view the world. This is an episode inspired by a training I recently attended about enhancing intuition and being able to channel yourself toward your highest self. What it boils down to is not being driven by fear and shadow: remembering to lead from the good and trust that you can act from this place and let the doubt go. Sending much love! Support this week’s sponsors: Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair.com to shop all things home Learn more about your ad choices. Visit…

This episode is for creating emotional relief and soothing. I have tools for healing unhealthy loops, tools for giving yourself kindness and calm, and clearing your energy in the moment something old arises. I am pretty excited about this episode because it’s something I have been practicing myself frequently and I think it’s pretty magical. It’s about giving your brain external feedback to alter the hold of runhealthy energy. I think one thing that people often underestimate is visual feedback: how your space being clear and open translates directly to how calm you feel, for example. I have some visual practices that I will describe but if it helps you can also watch this on YouTube. Here is the podcast channel on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOWnmmRaDe-yI2A1IVUhUx0Zi1mKnH3gj Here’s the book I am reading and loving that inspired some of the tools: https://amzn.to/4xzCYmF Sponsors: Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and get 10% off your first month of therapy AquaTru.com - get 20% off…

When we practice a solid routine of taking care of ourselves, we build a resource we can return to and rely on. It grows from the practice of calming the self when we would otherwise be reactive to the drama of the outside world. When we override the base level responses, we grow our locus of control. A quiet reserve, a core that is much like a friend. That center can hold space: it has a memory that you can trust yourself, that you have been here before, and yes, everything will be okay. You can float through the waves. We become our own resource. This is an episode about recalling a sense of trust, faith, calmness in the face of a familiar, old panic. That panic might arise from a trigger of powerlessness: a perspective of lack that might come from any number of things – loss of title, not getting a job, a number on a scale. These familiar old triggers initiate a mental scarcity narrative that generates unhealth: your body receives a message that you are not safe, that there is ongoing threat. So this is…

When an issue recurs in your life and you attract a specific kind of person or conflict, some would label that as karmic. A loop can also be a pattern we fall into that draws energy and creative force away from us – something that doesn’t align with our goals in life. The loops that I am talking about in this episode are mostly relationship-based there are also tools around individual behaviors. I called this “going along with it anyway” because it’s really about that moment of override: when our bodies tell us that something is wrong and we still get pulled into a conflict that makes us lose track of our values. What I find is when I get into these situations, there is something origin-based being triggered: a need to please or appease or prove our validity. When we heal from these wounds, we can completely skip them and do not get pulled into a compromising negotiation. That book I keep talking about is: The game of life and how to play it. https://amzn.to/3T3qaWY Sponsors: Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign…

We affect a lot in our life path with our energy and our intentionality. You quite literally get back what you put out – like attracts like. This is about having faith and putting the right magnets into this world. Leading with love. One thought from one of the books I am reading is, “The subconscious is energy without direction.” Meaning, it just flows at whatever you think about, it doesn’t factor in the qualifiers you may mentally be wrapping around that concept. So if you are thinking about a future situation, thinking “I don’t want this thing,” your subconscious energy is really just channeling the thing. With that in mind, how can you be really clear and intentional about what you focus on and what you tell yourself with your actions and the contexts you place yourself? This has exercises for welcoming only goodness, love and success. I have a couple books I am reading right now that I love and they very much inspired this episode. If you’d like to check them out: https://amzn.to/4gjPW2G…

If you’re a creative person, you are likely vulnerable to a lot of specific conditions: anxiety, boredom and also overly harsh self-analysis. Because you are right-brained, you are overly harsh on yourself and you imagine others judging you more harshly than they do. I have a few creative loved ones affected recently by the harshness of life (suffering on a soul level). Not saying it was all the fact that they are creative, but I do think it’s a big factor. If you’re creative, you are overly feeling– and also get bored by “the system” so it’s a double whammy. I am writing this with the hopes that it gets you into a better channel of thinking and using your creativity for positive change in your life. It has some tools for enhancing ego and intuition, and love for self. Sponsors: AquaTru.com - get 20% off your purifier using promo code HELPMEBEME Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair.com to shop all things home Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is an energy cleanser that will get you feeling hopeful about change. It includes how to stop rumination, how to change yourself, and how to make progress toward your goals especially if you get stuck in self-doubt. This is kind of like a mid-year self-review episode with journal exercises that reminds you to stay in the energy of love while taking stock of where you’re at on your goals. You can think of it as a set of positive reminders for how you choose to be, and coming home to a physical memory of love and optimism. Our energy is a daily maintenance practice that we need to be intentional about. Listening to this is kind of like a reminder for who you intend to be! Definitely check the tools on this episode if you feel stuck or like you’re in a negative mindset. Sponsors: Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and get 10% off your first month of therapy Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair.com to shop all things home Learn more about your ad choices. Visit…

This episode is about the underground engine that drives a lot of our choices, our reactions, and loops that keep us stuck. A lot of the things that block us are really overcompensations based in fear. They remain hidden from view because they are so engrained and we default to them because we are on autopilot due to stress. This is inspired by recent coaching I am doing, myself, around the enneagram! I am a fan of this framework, and I find it to be insightful. I highly recommend trying a test to see what your fear protection strategies might be. The main outcome of knowing your tendencies is being able to decide if you want to grow out of them. So many are different than we think they are/you may be mislabeling a lot of your current motives, now. Sending love! This is my enneagram coach’s site. Here's more info about the types. Sponsors: AquaTru.com - get 20% off your purifier using promo code HELPMEBEME Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair.com to shop all things home Learn more…

We often feel shattered when someone takes our identity away in some shape or form: a job, a relationship—a portrait of one’s self. This is an episode for anyone who lost a job or a relationship. An identity where you suddenly don’t know where to turn for grounding and solace. I am talking to a lot of people on the brink of an uncharted path. Right now industries are constricting, a lot of people are feeling scarce. I think this will also be relevant if you recently lost a relationship or any routine that kept you feeling a sense of self. Really dramatic change can be traumatic, but it can also forced growth. It can be really hard to not have a schedule: suddenly everything is yours to decide and validate. Without assignments and a role, it can be really hard to channel your energy: where do I even start? In this window of untethered life, my message to you is not to come from, “Who can I beg? Who would even take me?” which is fear/lack/scarcity. If you are in that state, know that what you need to do is…

I want to bring up possible areas in your life where you are being driven by an old pattern: where motives are unconscious and not totally visible to you. Often these loops are reinforced by childhood boundaries we set up for good reasons – things that helped create stability in life. Things like a need to control. A need to be needed. A need to feel safe. This is about seeing patterns in your life so you can be truly guided by your best interests versus the stuff you are unconsciously afraid of. A lot of things we tend to avoid are also things that can be positive for us. This has a few tools for channeling power, confidence, present-mindedness. What has your life path set up for you? It has led you to where you are today for good reason. If you identify as high-functioning, there’s a thing that tends to happen where you crash and have that moment where you ask: am I happy? Is this sustainable? That is the shadow side of a very healthy set of skills. That is what we are exploring together, today. Sending…

Numbness, isolation, loneliness. The voice of fear takes many different shapes and forms, many of them don’t look like fear. The voice will reinforce a state of constriction and energy-saving: don't reach out, don't be vulnerable. To heal means being accessible to divine energy — to something greater than your current emotional state — requires asking for help and practicing openness. That is how we move out of loneliness instead of remaining locked in fear. And we also need to be in the places where that energy can actually reach us. It’s there all the time, all around us. The question is whether we can get into a position to receive it. If you’re chronically lonely the goal is to allow God in – or allow in the universal forces that expand you. Reaching openness means being accessible to change. We need to get out of the constricted state and enter the current. Plato had a concept of “ontos on” to describes "what really is," or, the really real: When something hits you as true, it’s associated with the…

When you really know innately that it’s not about you, you feel immediate relief in the face of any attack. It’s one thing to be in that place of confidence, legitimately. It’s another to want to be there but still be in a process of healing your emotional baggage. This episode is really about understanding what it looks and feels like to be healed. It’s aimed at giving yourself grace, relief, context for where you are and why. So that you can let go of a little bit of self-blame and also re-orient toward where it is you want to go. Healing and safety look different at different ages. We may need to boundary our lives very differently depending on the part of ourselves we are trying to grow. This is about growing out of ego and a habit of taking things personally. It’s a lifelong process that takes conscious attention. To not take things personally is the key to so much relief in life: It changes what you say, what you do, what matters. How long fights last, how much pain you endure. How much loneliness and…

Do you have the luxury of focus? This is what I want to invite you to pause, foster and create. This is for grounding in the chaos of rapid change – for me that is in the face of tech. Right now there is an immediacy paralysis. “I have to do everything so I cannot do anything.” This is about how to get back to a sense of agency, focus, and the freedom to be creative. By creative I mean open, objective and flexible versus in a threat state. A lot of my episodes are born of a reaction in myself or something experienced by one of my clients– this is no different. It is a huge asset to be able to focus right now. To be effective and start somewhere grounded– is the goal. Sending love and I hope this helps! Sponsors: Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and get 10% off your first month of therapy Monarch.com code HELPME for 50% off your first year Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair.com to shop all things home Marleyspoon.com/offer/helpmebeme up to 25 FREE meals Learn more about your ad…

A lot of people right now are feeling overwhelmed. Emotionally, and in a focus sense. This can make you feel like you cannot find internal refuge: that there’s no way to refresh a positive attitude because worries occupy too much space. Thankfully, we have neuroplasticity. We can teach ourselves out of worry and scarcity. It starts with awareness of the state we are in– and then an intention to calm. And come home to the present. From here we have the agency to change. This is for gracefully moving through a state of overwhelm. It is also about being a grownup: keeping the shine when life gets gnarly. There will be times when we feel overcome, but this too is a time to be great and reorient your POV. We are in a very transitional year – change is happening fast. Take heart, be gentle and loving with yourself. Be seen and connect to others in a loving, healing way. And smile. Sending love. To support our sponsors: Wayfair.com to shop all things homeMarleyspoon.com/offer/helpmebeme for up to 25 FREE meals…

That state of obsession with a worry. The spins, as I call it—where your brain comes back again and again, telling long elaborate stories about a made-up, not good future. This is your body on worry: sick, tense, and a bit dead in that a part of you is not in the present. Regardless of the probability behind the fear you’re focused on, all of this is inside your head and therefore totally optional. None of it exists in reality. If this is you right now, I want to remind you that this can be an opportunity for growth –all friction creates material for momentum toward growth and change. Try to reframe this as such. This episode is a “talk down” for getting out of this loop of thinking and into a state of presence and creativity. Sending love! Sponsors: Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and get 10% off your first month of therapy Monarch.com code HELPME for 50% off your first year Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair.com to shop all things home Marleyspoon.com/offer/helpmebeme up to…

This is about coming from intentionality versus the myopia of fear. It’s about the power of what we say to ourselves to expect. What we intend creates reality. The first thing I wanted to describe to you is the power of having a clear intention when you walk into any sphere – for example, your next conversation. Make your self-definition your north star as you enter that room. For example, saying to yourself, “My goal is to inspire with creativity, to connect in love, to come from wholeness, and to be funny.” Life is based on a prompt, in that thoughts are prompts: we choose what will be with the intent we have when we walk into any situation. This is about being aware of this and really examining areas where fear might be blocking love and truth. We get clouded energetically by fear and we shed parts of ourselves through our lifetime because we are afraid to care about something too much. Fear of loss causes us to abandon who we really are in small ways. So this is an episode that will hopefully reconnect…

This episode will hopefully give you an epiphany! Negative feedback loops have a huge impact on intimate relationships. They are also a major factor in self-perception: perception of your life and what others mean to you. We base our opinions of our relationships on the signals we receive from them, which, in turn, create return signals. There are two selves we inhabit: the “whole self” and the “fear self”. These two selves make very different decisions and they act from very different places. The fear self will come from childhood powerlessness where the motive is always to grasp for control and “fix it.” This self operates from a fictional and dysfunctional belief that it is possible and also our job to fix things. The whole self comes from truth. That self knows where the boundary between self and other stands. The whole self can detach with love when necessary and also see when they need to be accountable and give more. The goal is to always act from the whole self and also give love unconditionally.…

At the end of the year, the beginning of the new year one can feel depleted or stuck. This is an episode with a lot of light, perspective-gaining tools to practice ease and spaciousness. It's for recognizing where you’re depleted, where you’re defensive or clingy, and also coming back home to a solid, positive mindset. This is for post-holiday crashing – something that happens to a lot of caregivers as well as sensitive and creative people. This is a reminder sort of episode: to ride that wave and float atop it as it passes, thinking of it more as a stage of rebirth. That feeling of depletion or even depression is a part of a transition. Often it’s a dip of energy needed to alert you to the need for rest and restoration. Enjoy this and sip some tea with a journal! Support this week’s sponsors: Chewy: Send your pet’s wish to Chewy.com/ChewyClaus and it might become a reality. Plus, your wish means Chewy will donate 5 meals to pets in need. Indeed: Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME for a $75 sponsored job credit Ritual:…

This is a super woo episode! It’s for all my creative friends and anyone who is feeling fearful and reactive in the state of uncertainty. If you’re a creative person and you feel stuck or stunted by fear, this is a grounding episode for clarity and building momentum. It’s a reflection episode in that I invite you to be more present and focus on where you can channel energy. In a nutshell, I am talking about what many refer to “divine feminine energy” – this is not about gender, but more an opposite energy that is essential to creativity: that state of “allowing” versus “muscling” and goal-setting. I personally have been out of balance lately in that I have been in the muscling, goal-setting “masculine” energy. I am inviting more balance into my life where I can be more in the welcoming and inspired – especially during this winter stage of life. If this sounds like something you need, this episode will hopefully bring you more calm and serenity. This is for creating balance in your life in your energy and in…

A visioning practice as we close out the year. This is for making space for what is meant to come forth. This is for anyone wanting to process what is inside and position themselves for the year to come. I have lots of prompts in this one for reflecting and journaling. I also have lots of prompts for creating a vision board! A link to these prompts is linked below – in the case you want to just listen along and then do them in a journal and make a vision board later. I have been doing this myself because it’s easy to get so busy. We need a moment to checkin with where we’re at – what’s working, what needs tweaking. For me the ideal way to move through life is constantly course correcting, refining the recipe for your day, as you go. To be happy and fulfilled, we have to stop and take time to reflect on our life: what’s working and what we want to let go of. This ep is that opportunity!! Here’s Pam Grout’s book which I love: https://amzn.to/48BhwD5 Here are the prompts from this episode:…

This is for working on relationships in your life where you have weak boundaries. If there is a loved one who doesn’t respect your boundaries and you feel guilty for needing space from them, know that that is part of your upbringing and the feeling of needing space is your emotional health saying “I need to heal.” This is an episode to give you some relief around that set of feelings. It has some tools for coming into the present, tuning into your body. Truly healthy and loving relationships are built between two capable individuals who show up with heartfelt effort. This also applies with your relationship to yourself: you need to show up for you and set consistent boundaries around harmful situations. If there’s a person in your life who is not honoring you and your values, it’s up to you to boundary how you deserve to be treated. There need to be consequences when someone is not treating you with basic human respect. If there’s a person in your life who is having all their cake while you beg for emotional…

We have a finite reserve of drive, otherwise known as libido. Libido is often used to refer to sexual desire but it also refers to a psychological drive – an energy for life satisfaction. In this episode I am referring to your drive and your ibido as psychic energy in general. This is about protecting your source of drive: channeling it toward that which you truly desire on a deep, personal level. Often in life, our drive gets fractured or frustrated by the needs of others or by filling the void with things like substances. I invite you to reflect on what’s happening in your life and where your libido is currently going. It needs to be channeled toward that which is most important to you. We must create a strong and consistent “container” or safe space for ourselves to bring forth any goal. Whatever condition in your life is stealing you away from a goal – I encourage you to be active in that fight even if it is unpleasant. That is a step in the process of change. Being in the struggle is how we move planets…

Sometimes there is a path forward that we have not leveraged because we spin out in guilty ruminations and projections. You may want to get out of a relationship or change a condition in your life, but you defer to another person’s thoughts as you imagine them in your own mind. We often block ourselves from aligning with a truth with self-limiting beliefs and guilt because for codependents guilt is INTENSE. This is about ways that codependency can show up: allowing the feelings of others to block us from what we want. This is aimed at reflection and a chance to look inward. I wanted to say if you’re in a place like this – you feel stuck and it feels like it’s all on this other person, that is an opportunity to step back, tune in, and practice letting go. Sending love… The book I mention is this lovely read: https://amzn.to/4oB0o6I Sponsors: Factor: FactorMeals.com/HELPMEBEME50OFF and use code HELPMEBEME50OFF to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year.BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/helpmebeme…

Or having enough of yourself to channel toward that which you are gifted to bring into this world. This is for those cultivating a creative dream who are struggling to get into creative flow. This episode has tools for jumpstarting a sense of inner drive that comes from knowing oneself. Where you might be right now: energetically “occupied.” Relationships take up a lot of time and remove our mental ability to think autonomously. As do jobs. In general, if we are unable to access flow it’s a sign we are spiritually taxed. Sometimes that is because life has made you neglect that part of yourself. Sometimes your creative muscles are just out of use. And other times it’s because someone hurt you and it has given you performance anxiety. Protect your energy - it is precious, the most finite resource you have. To access that place of flow and drive, we need safety and private psychic space. What I will go into in this episode is how to start to build up a routine and get moving toward your creative goal. Sponsors:…

Losing, feeling low, less-than, not winning at something. This is for a perspective flip: seeing every place as exactly where you need to be, at a given time. We all have seasons in our life and cycles we move through. Cycles of productivity, growth, success, and then there is also resetting – where we are brought into a new, full understanding of reality. This is important and though painful, it also serves a role in your life: think of it as the winter of your cycle. A Seneca quote that feels appropriate: “No man is more unhappy than he who never faces adversity.” Friction is how we move into new levels and capacities for joy and depth. When we return to the barren state, we check in with self and with life: where am I and where should I be going? There is new information to be brought in and it brings about the reshaping of self. This episode has some tools to look at your loss or your feeling of lowness as a winter opportunity for inquiry and change. This can be a moment of truth, acceptance,…

This episode is really about living a life of meaning and being intentional in that approach to today. Tools for focusing your energy on on vibrating toward good – whatever that looks like for YOU, right now. What do you live for? Is your life designed around this thing? I don’t mean living for a job or a mission, necessarily. I also mean things like “hiking with my dog” or “mountain biking.” This episode is about returning to yourself, coming back to who you are through deliberate efforts. We are constantly recalibrating. I read a quote recently by E.L. Doctoro about writing a novel. “Writing is like driving at night in the fog. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.' Self-work and healing is also like driving a car at night. You can make the whole trip that way, you don’t need to see it all at once. Just focus on being deliberate and intentional in how you approach today – only today, right now. We return to ourselves when we create conditions that remind us…

What is love bombing? It’s a term used to describe the initial phase of a relationship when someone is trying to “seal the deal” with intoxicating affection. The person connects quick and hard, often validating you in ways you have craved your whole life; saying all the things you want to hear, treating you like you have dreamed of being treated. They make you feel seen and adored, which is why it’s so confusing and painful when it ends. A lot of people ask me, what happened to that person? Was it not real? It was real for you in your personal experience – however the person who enacted it was not portraying their true self. A person like this usually collects fans. They collect adorers, and they get off on the feeling of control. So I describe it often as a person with a different kind of brain. More on this plus some tools in this episode. This is for one person in particular but also meant for anyone who has fallen for a person who immediately disposed of you after you thought they were the one. And if…

Are you being loving or are you enabling someone to remain dysfunctional? How do you tell? If you are a person who finds you are enraged and triggered by a relationship in your life and you feel powerless, this episode is about imbalanced relationships where one person is overactive and another person is underactive and how that “sick system” self-perpetuates despite everyone having good intentions. If you are unsure whether or not you are codependent, ask yourself – do you obsess about the way another person lives their life and does it make you miserable? Are you finding yourself being put in compromising situations because of that person? This episode might be a helpful starting point. Also here are a few must-reads! Codependent No More https://amzn.to/4ooLFfW Courage to Change https://amzn.to/3HgpAzC The Dance of Anger https://amzn.to/45kZlQj Sponsors: Chewy: chewy.com/podhelpmebeme to save $20 on your first order with free shipping BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/helpmebeme to get 10% off your first month of…

The alt name for this episode was “Ask More of Yourself” but that felt kind of agro. A lot of success in life happens in tiny micro changes. This episode is to help you curate the mindset of “I got this” as you move through your day. This is about building agency and momentum via seeing success as something small. Keeping a perspective of our own ability, sense of agency, and curating a feeling of “I got this” as we move through challenging times or new, fear-inducing territory. Stick around for the tools in this one! This has tips for staying in the channel of focus on what you’re doing right. Appreciating life in the exertion periods and giving yourself an awareness snap of, “Oh, wow, it’s actually not so hard, and I can do this” We can get that snap of clarity when we can look at a loved one from a generation past or the long hours demanded of an Olympic athlete. That concept of empowered endurance and self-motivation is a reset for our day to day toils. Sending love… you are so much stronger than you…

If you’re struggling with trying to keep a handle on your own beliefs in the face of a person with a strong ego, as in a romantic relationship or parental relationship where they talk you out of your feelings or tell you that you’re wrong, this is for you! A lot of people struggle to self-validate. You might defer to another person’s opinion or have a person in your life who talks you out of your beliefs, even if you feel strongly about them the moment you have them. When we are feeling insecure and second guessing ourselves, we are looking for grounding. In the spin – as I call it. We cannot discern the truth – it is illusive to us. We keep thinking “I feel this way! Am I wrong?” What we need to recognize in that moment of that feeling is that we need to back up from the issue and get a wider perspective. The issue is co-created by us and another person and the solution is a longer but accessible one. This episode is about creating a dose of perspective with context and tools. Often what this comes down to…

This is about expanding your consciousness using moments of emptiness and dissatisfaction as a starting point. I will invite you to widen your capacity and open your energy to a higher level by “using the material” that is the dissatisfaction. Lots of tools in this one. If you feel like you’ve been living loops of stagnation and have been unable to see what is blocking your happiness – like “I am doing all the right things, why do I feel empty?” Feeling that something is missing, that we need something to fix us or fill the void…Or being spiritually starved by your environment…Or the intimate relationships never pan out or become what we had hoped. A lot of this comes into play when we are following a bunk map – we set a goal that is a 2D snapshot and think “I just need this and then I am done!” But happiness is about growing in three dimensions, inwardly. So where to go from here? Lean into your humanity and set the goal to go deeper. We need our humanity and connection to others on an authentic level. We…

If you’ve been unable to let go of a relationship or a part of you feels tethered to it, it could be in part the longing for the feeling of completeness. Breakups are also losses of routine and a feeling that we are not alone in the world. A lot of the loss is that concept of our life, not the person we are partnered with and who they are in reality. One thing we can move through as we process a breakup is the loss of that ideal: what we wanted the relationship to be, wished it would become, visualized it would be in the future. Separate from that we can respect the real reasons the relationship ended: who the other person was and why it was not sustainable. That’s what this episode is about: negotiating the two sides to a loss of a partner: the loss of the idea – the mirror we saw of ourselves. And then the loss of the other person. I think in the mourning/healing process we get confused about which feelings are coming from where, which can make closure difficult. You might have had a really bad…

There comes a time when we take stock of our lives and ask whether or not it’s still working for us. That might be our self-definition, our career, our relationship, or all of the above. You might arrive at this by accident, as in a health issue that forces the wake up, or you might simply recognize the feeling and ask, “Why am I so numb and unfulfilled?” This is an episode to help you look at whatever value system you have gotten lost within so you can set better boundaries around it. Often times we get seduced by external definitions of a path and we pour ourselves into it, never stopping to question whether or not it’s really rewarding for us. Other times we just grow out of it and we need to stop and reassess if a change is needed. Sending love! Sponsors: Chewy: chewy.com/podhelpmebeme to save $20 on your first order and get free shipping. Mint Mobile: mintmobile.com/helpmebeme - get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans Indeed: Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME for a $75 sponsored job credit Wayfair:…

This is for complicated relationships with complicated boundaries, for example when you are stuck in a relationship you dislike, or you are dating but have gone through a life shift, so you fear choosing the wrong person. The reason I chose this topic is often when we are not fully activating our boundaries around the concepts of what we want and what rewards us, we allow a situation or another person to decide our future, for us. So something external will push us into a long-term situation that we never actively wanted or designed. When we are not fully solved as individuals, we may not know why we are not happy, what is not sitting right, and whether or not that’s “valid” for us to feel what we feel. In other words – there is a vagueness to our own feelings and we question ourselves, which keeps us more stuck in a situation. We may be emotionally ambivalent or have opposite feelings in a relationship, like dating when you are a single parent: any new relationship might bring up opposing priorities that…

Are you feeling anxious, overwhelmed and insecure? This is full of tools for creating an inner sense of sanctuary: a clarity and calm. This is designed for artists and sensitive types who are more open and therefore porous to the world. We take in a lot, feel a lot, and can become inundated with “feedback” which can be heavy to say the least. It’s important to cleanse your energy periodically: to tune your focus and reaffirm a helpful, positive reality versus a negative one. I offer tools and reflections for how to recalibrate your energy toward positivity. So zhuzhing up the inside through manual practices. Sending love! Here are the spiritual books I referenced and if they trigger you in any way, skip them and forget I brought them up! There’s a lot of “new” thinking in these… E Squared Inner Work You Are Psychic The Seat of the Soul Many Lives, Many Masters Notes to George: The Whisper Sponsors: Chewy: chewy.com/podhelpmebeme to save $20 on your first order and get free shipping. Gabb: gabb.com/helpmebme…

We often get decision paralysis or feel intense anxiety around actions that need to be taken, especially when we perceive the stakes to be high. Even if you feel like the answer is obvious it can be really hard to trust yourself, which leads many to ask others to make the decisions for them. What we often feel is a dominant fear of hurting someone else or letting go of something familiar. This intense resistance is another shape of codependency or the group of traits associated with being parentified at a young age. This is an episode to help you move through difficult, anxiety provoking decisions even when you feel intensely ambivalent and fear mis stepping. The trick is to make decisions despite the feeling in your body – to make moves strategically based on what you conceptually KNOW is the next best thing to do. Feeling afraid if often just our body saying “this is going to cost me a lot of energy and I don’t want to go through it.” It’s an energy-saving resistance and not reflective of the actual pain…

How to ensure your life is conducive to empowerment and love. It can all end tomorrow – how are you living, today? If you are feeling anxious and overwhelmed, this is for cleansing and correcting your energy – becoming more deliberate in that embodiment. The goal for me in this episode is to remind you that you have a hand in resetting your focus and your energy and that that presence/how you show up absolutely affects the world around you. Is your life set up for your nervous system? Remember to be responsible in setting boundaries that honor you in your life. Only take in what keeps you active and powerful and channeling your energy toward the good. Today I know what activates me/what I can take in, and I also respect what overwhelms me to the point of incapacitation/what I cannot take in. Be very deliberate in how you welcome things into your psyche: watch what does good and what does not. I also want to remind you to have hope and to remain open to possibilities: we cannot see the future, from today…

This is about how we can come to a sense of comfort in our bodies and psyche, feel more aligned and at home in our life, versus at the mercy of it. It’s really easy to set up systems in our lives that betray our truest wishes for our souls. You might find that the life you have set up brings tons of stress to your body, makes you feel overwhelmed for a large majority of your week, or takes you out of quality time with your loved ones. I think we only get glimpses of this truth when we are having a panic attack, or almost done with vacation, or have the Sunday scaries: it’s that looking down the barrel of the future feeling where you think, “When will all the overwhelm end??” The things we do to ourselves can be abusive, to say the least. For you that betrayal might be in the area of peace, self-respect, bodily peace, or simply a calm mind and nervous system. In this episode I am offering you a reflection and reset for You on You. Reframing the way you move through your life can be simple: it comes down to…

This episode is all about knowing how to reward your inner self as you move through the world. It's about having a sense of our own spiritual and egoic priorities and ensuring we respect that truth at all times. If we don't do this, we end up feeling anxious, empty, numb, disconnected, and not liking ourselves. As we advance through life stages, our needs change, and we need to tune in to see what is true for us, then take steps to honor that truth. We need to stay present and fulfilled, remaining conscious in the creation of our life. This requires us to stay really aware of old coping skills and know when we are near a personal danger zone. If you are in a place where you feel anxious, empty, numb, disconnected, and not liking yourself, know that the path to renewal, growth, and energy is actually tapping into the underbelly of what you have pushed down. Ask yourself, "What am I hiding from? What am I not listening to?" We need to make contact again so we can restore that connection. If we don't, it grows…

Even if you’ve done a lot of work on yourself, feel confident and seated in yourself, there can be new situations when you recon with an unexpected and uncomfortable need to please or be liked by others that even if you disagree with it logically– can betray your intellect. This is a response that is often triggered by new social situations or conditions that remove you from your definition of self. It might happen when you’re entering a tightknit group that is not based in “who you are” or grow slowly in a situation where you are not aligned with the core group. Regardless it feels disconcerting and can catch you off-guard asking “What is happening??” I’ll call it 'the pleasing trigger.’ The feeling that we have to fit in and be liked can be intense and desperate, one that is triggered at any age– often when we are in a new forced social situation like a new professional sphere. Know that if this is happening to you it’s not because you are weak or unevolved, it’s because you are wired the way all humans…

I think one primal fear inherent in ego is that we are somehow inadequate, that we are unworthy and need to stave off this possible truth. The other side of this coin is an expectation that we can and should be perfect. Which is not only impossible and false, but also a harmful ideal even if it were attainable. It’s based in a belief that perfect is good. That fear of being inadequate is also the hidden truth that causes a lot of reactivity, judginess, defensiveness, and also increases our need for “stuff” – the drive of materialism is often a belief that we need something to feel whole, powerful and better than. This is an episode about working with that in particular. When we work with this block of unworthiness– by looking into it, we get a bit closer to ourselves and we grow in our personal experience of wholeness, peace, joy, love and connection to others. Our love reservoir grows more expansive. Support this week’s sponsors! Chewy Right now you can save $20 on your first order and get free shipping by…

If you woke up one day and feel like “I don’t really like myself,” this is for you. Self-respect is not just about having an air of confidence as you interact with others, it’s also being respectful to yourself, internally. As a means to get to this place, I wanted to offer you a simple prescription: think of your body and what I’ll call your dominant thought narrative as being a wise, second self. A friendly and compassionate voice. This second self can aid you and ground you as you move through the chatter that is your anxiety or perhaps at times negative chatter and self-analysis. We have to learn how to become a consistent friend to ourselves and that is how we start to really like who we are, regardless of the external. Like meeting a new friend, this can start at any time in your life – it just requires a commitment. This episode is also about when we cannot get to a particular behavior change – seeing that there is a block behind that: a blindness to a lie we are believing. These “feelings stones”…

Ready to take a fresh path to self-discovery? Every Monday, Jemma of “The Psychology of your 20s” brings you a new mantra, breaking it down to show you how you can apply it to your own life. Whether you’re facing a major transition or looking to evolve your everyday routine, Mantra is the podcast for you. Join Jemma every week for reflections, practical tips, and personal insights that’ll inspire you to live with intention and unlock your true potential. Follow Mantra with Jemma Sbeg wherever you get your podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

‘Easy does it’ is a pretty great Alanon slogan, best used in times of stress or overwhelm when we find ourselves on the backfoot or grasping for control. What is most challenging about moving through any state of disaster (natural or personal) is the lack of ability to think– often when we are being faced with so much information, so quickly. ‘Easy does it’ is a path back to feeling grounded and safe in self. If you are suffering right now – from the loss of your home or from the loss of a partner or something else, this is a reminder that we can only take on as much as we can handle and sometimes the best thing we can do is slow down and take some of the pressure off of ourselves so we can return to the situation from a more resourced position. When we get into that energy of forcing solutions, that’s a little flag reminding us we need to come home to our breathing and be extra kind and gentle with ourselves. We may not be able to solve every problem in the time we wish to solve it in and some problems are…

Hi friends! Happy new year! This is a clips show with some inspirational vibes for you to kick off your year– it includes excerpts from the following episodes. Enjoy xo 192 Changing your life: remembering a sense of possibility https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-192-changing-your-life-remembering-a-sense/id895918183?i=1000602016701 193 Getting in the energy path of change https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/help-me-be-me/id895918183?i=1000602016701 201 Working with the energy of scarcity – choosing fulfilment https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/help-me-be-me/id895918183?i=1000619419445 185 Getting out of your own way https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/help-me-be-me/id895918183?i=1000587178584 200 Getting back into the energy of limitlessness https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/help-me-be-me/id895918183?i=1000617776780 Smile! And visit YayWithMe.com for more of my work Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is all tools for stepping back from the process of negative rumination and choosing a different path: awareness, neutrality and openness. A lot of what we live through is created in our mind, and thoughts catalyze more similar thoughts. When it comes to negative rumination, a lot of these thought sequences are based in old, strong emotional imprints from long ago that are triggered in the present. When we get into a negative thought loop, a sequence of feelings is created by an initial thought. For example, “I am sad because I am alone tonight, and this person didn’t call me back.” Which catalyzes, “Where am I in my life?” Which catalyzes, “Now I feel emotionally low” which triggers the brain’s desire to double down on this feeling and wallow in this rapidly increasing feeling of sadness. This catalyzes the next thought and the next one and the next one after that. I am doing something super simple in this episode: I am writing directions for how to dismantle these kinds of thought sequences.…