Dating Intentionally

Texting can create SO much unnecessary anxiety in early dating. You’re wondering if you’re texting too much, if you should text first, why they suddenly seem less responsive, or whether someone who’s great in person but terrible over text is actually worth pursuing.In this episode, I’m breaking down what texting should actually look like before, after and between dates so you can stop analyzing every message and focus more on the connection happening in real life.This episode originally aired in December 2023.You’ll learn:Why texting too much before a first date can create false intimacyWhy you don’t need to wait for someone else to text first after a good dateThe texting mistake that can turn a promising connection into a pen-pal situationWhat realistic communication between dates can look likeWhat to do when you notice someone’s texting suddenly slow down or changeHow to handle dating someone who texts much less than you’d preferWhy double texting isn’t the dating crime people make it out to beWhat to do…

What if the secret to better dates isn’t saying the “right” thing, but worrying less about how you’re coming across and getting more curious about the person in front of you? In this episode, I’m talking with experimental social psychologist and author Vanessa Bohns about the science of what we say, what we hold back, and how other people actually respond to us.Vanessa breaks down why we often underestimate how much people like us, why vulnerability tends to go over better than we expect, and how asking the right kinds of questions can create more intimacy without making a date feel like an interview.We’re getting into how to...Decide when to share something vulnerable or sensitive in early datingTell the difference between healthy vulnerability and trauma dumpingFigure out why you feel the urge to disclose somethingTalk about your accomplishments without sounding like you’re braggingUnderstand the “liking gap” and why your dates may like you more than you thinkAsk questions that actually build connection…

How do you actually know if you’re in a healthy relationship? In this episode, I’m breaking down the four pillars I believe healthy relationships are built on: responsiveness, safety, freedom, and connection. We’ll talk about what each one actually looks like, where we tend to get it wrong, and how you can start building these qualities from the very beginning of dating.I'm getting into...What it really means to feel understood and cared for by your partnerWhy validation doesn’t mean agreeing with everything your partner saysHow to tell the difference between relationship safety and simply avoiding conflictWhy calm and steadiness aren’t signs that something is missingHow independence and freedom can actually strengthen your relationshipWhy your partner shouldn’t have to be your entire support systemHow small everyday “bids for connection” build intimacy over timeWhat to look for in early dating if you want to build a healthy long-term relationshipFour questions you can ask yourself to assess the health of…

What if jealousy wasn’t a sign that something is wrong with you or your relationship, but an emotion you could actually learn from? In this episode, I’m talking with relationship coach Ally Iseman about why jealousy gets such a bad reputation, what it’s actually trying to tell us, and how to work through it without blaming your partner or shaming yourself.Ally breaks down the different types of jealousy, including insecurity, comparison, fear of abandonment, distrust, and retroactive jealousy, and explains why learning to tolerate discomfort is one of the most important relationship skills you can build.We’re getting into how to...The difference between jealousy and envyFigure out whether your jealousy is about you, your relationship, or something from your pastWhat to do when jealousy comes upWork through retroactive jealousyAsk your partner for reassurance without making them responsible for your emotionsHandle it when your partner is jealous of your pastUnderstand the difference between boundaries, rules,…

Dating comes with a lot of frustrating uncertainty. You can’t know if attraction will grow, whether someone will choose the relationship, or how another person will react when you tell them the truth. In this special 300th episode of Dating Intentionally, I’m answering your dating dilemmas about what happens when you want certainty, but the situation simply can’t give it to you yet.We’re getting into four dating dilemmas:How long should you give someone to warm up physically when you’re tired of making the first move?What do you do when you’ve been telling little lies to make someone like you and now the relationship is getting more serious?Should you give a longtime friend a romantic chance when you’re not sure the attraction is there?How long do you wait when your partner says they need to “figure things out”?I’m talking about...Why trying to control the outcome can actually make dating harderHow to tell the difference between accepting someone’s pace and ignoring your own needsWhy self-worth can affect…

What if dating felt less like a stressful search for your person and more like an experience you could actually enjoy? In this episode, I’m talking with Serena Kerrigan, creator and author of Let’s Fucking Date, about lowering the stakes in dating, stopping the need to control the outcome, and staying open to connections that don’t look exactly how you expected.Serena shares how meeting her boyfriend challenged her assumptions about age, success, and what the “right” partner should look like, plus the mindset shifts that helped her stop overmanaging her dating life and actually enjoy it.We’re getting into how to...Use Serena’s “potential, practice, or plot” framework to make every date feel worthwhileStop putting so much pressure on every first date to become somethingStay open to people who don’t fit the picture you had in your headTell the difference between showing interest and doing too muchGive someone enough space to actually reveal how interested they areLet go of control when dating feels…

Feel like you're done wasting time on the wrong connections? I get it! In this episode, I'm breaking down seven of the most common mistakes I see people make in early dating, from dating someone's potential and staying in situationships to taking constant dating breaks, avoiding uncomfortable conversations, and being pen pals. I'm also sharing what to do differently so you can protect your time and energy and get closer to the relationship you actually want.In this episode, you'll learn:Why dating someone's potential can keep you invested way too longHow staying in a situationship can delay you from finding your personWhy constantly taking breaks from dating may be slowing you down and what to work on insteadHow speaking up about small issues early can reveal someone's ability to handle conflictWhat it means to date from your "back foot" and why it's a time wasterWhy texting for weeks before meeting can create false intimacyHow to recognize red flags without confusing them with preferencesWhy getting curious…

How much is your self-worth affecting the way you date? In this episode, I’m talking with psychologist and author Dr. Marisa G. Franco about how our past experiences can shape what we believe we deserve, how we interpret rejection, and even our ability to accept love from someone who genuinely likes us. We’ll also explore what it means to build self-worth and how to stop dating from a place of fear and start going after what you want.We’re getting into how to...Understand the difference between self-esteem and self-worthRecognize when you’re dating to avoid rejection instead of pursuing what you wantUnderstand why rejection hits some people so much harder than othersIdentify old experiences that may still be shaping how you see yourselfStop assuming someone doesn’t like you when there’s no evidence they don’tBuild self-worth by paying attention and responding to your emotionsKnow when you’re seeking healthy reassurance versus outsourcing your worth to a partnerNavigate dating when you don’t feel completely…

There's a reason you keep dating the same people in different fonts: it's your dating patterns.In this episode, I'm sharing the three patterns I discovered while tracking my own dating life, how they were getting in the way of the relationship I actually wanted, and what I did differently once I could finally see them. I'm also walking you through a simple way to identify your own patterns and turn them into experiments so you can start getting different dating results.In this episode, you'll learn:What dating patterns actually are and how they can quietly influence who you choose and how you behaveCommon patterns like getting attached too quickly, chasing unavailable people, staying too long, or writing people off too soonThe three dating patterns I discovered in my own dating lifeWhy I stopped rushing physical intimacy and started approaching sex differentlyHow I realized I was trying to earn affection instead of evaluating whether someone was right for meWhy consistency can feel less exciting when you're…

How do you stay open-minded in dating without settling for less than what you want? And what happens when someone treats you well, checks a lot of the important boxes, but something still feels… off?In this episode, I’m joined by licensed therapist Jordanne Sculler to talk about the messy, nuanced parts of dating that don’t fit neatly into a set of rules. We unpack why familiar relationship dynamics can feel more attractive than healthy ones, why self-awareness alone doesn’t always break old patterns, and how to tell when you’re honoring your needs versus shrinking yourself to keep someone around.Listen for...How to be open in dating without lowering your standardsWhy dating checklists can get in the way of real connectionThe difference between self-soothing and suppressing a legitimate needWhy someone healthy might initially feel uncomfortable or unfamiliarHow to stop focusing so much on whether someone likes you and ask whether you like themWhat dating disappointment can bring up about your self-worthHow…

In this episode, I'm sharing 5 tiny habits that can help you get better dating results, feel more confident and in control, and make dating a little more enjoyable. We’ll talk about how to make decisions without endlessly second-guessing yourself, learn from your dates, show interest without playing games, protect your mindset from dating negativity, and get clear on intentions early.In this episode, we cover:How being more decisive can build confidence and self-trustWhy tracking and reflecting on your dates can help you spot patterns and learn what actually works for youHow to show interest when you're interested without playing it cool or worrying about “double texting”Why opting out of negative dating narratives can help you stay open and hopefulHow bringing up your intentions early can help you avoid confusion, situationships, and wasted timeDating habits from the Dating Intentionally community that helped people stay grounded and keep goingA dating dilemma about bad timing, competing connections, and…

What can you learn from a first date that was just okay? And why does what happens after the date sometimes tell you more than the date itself? This is another episode of First Date Vibe Check, where I bring on a listener to walk me through a recent first date, from matching and messaging to the date itself, the post-date feelings, and what happened next.This time, I’m talking to Katelyn (39), a single mom looking for a long-term relationship. She met “Trey” on Facebook Dating, moved the conversation over to Instagram, and eventually went on a two-hour dinner date.We’re getting into:Why she prefers active first dates over dinnerHow she uses Instagram in her dating lifeThe green flags she looks for in dating app conversationsHow she realized she wasn’t actually that excited about himWhy feeling safe and having a “good enough” time doesn’t automatically mean you should go on a second dateThe post-date interaction that gave her a whole new data pointHer firm boundary around second dates at homeHow she decides…

Whether you’re newly single, coming out of a long-term relationship, or you’ve simply been out of the dating world for years, getting back into dating can feel overwhelming. The apps have changed, the dating culture has changed, and you may have changed, too. In this episode, I’m breaking down how to get back into the dating scene with less pressure, more confidence, and a whole lot more perspective. Think of this as your dating bestie’s guide to getting your feet wet again without expecting yourself to immediately find your future spouse.Listen for:How to know if you’re actually ready to date Why your first goal should simply be going on a date, not finding a relationshipHow to lower the stakes Why awkward, boring, or unsuccessful dates are actually part of the processThe different ways to meet people to dateHow to manage fears around rejection, inexperience, being judged, or someone changing their mindWhy you need to stop getting ahead of yourself How journaling, setting intentions, and finding ways to…

If someone doesn't have any red flags, is that a green flag? This is the third episode of First Date Vibe Check, where I bring on listeners who are actively dating to walk through a recent first date with me, from how they met and planned the date to what actually happened and how they felt afterward.This time, I'm talking to Jenny, a 27-year-old in the UK who is relatively new to dating and using it to build confidence, meet people, and figure out what she actually wants. She met "Steve" on Breeze, an app that skips the messaging and gets you straight to the date. We're getting into her unconventional first-date setup, the venue that had absolutely no vibe, the spontaneous bar-hopping that followed, and the green flags and amber flags she noticed along the way. MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:Want to break down a first date with me on the pod? Apply here.Get the Date Tracker app so you can do your own vibe checks!THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS💗 Bellesa: EVERYONE gets a free Rose suction toy with EVERY single order!…

How much information do you actually need before you make a decision in your dating life? In this episode, I’m answering four real dating dilemmas that all come down to that one question.We’re talking about dating two people and not knowing who to choose, deciding whether a sexual-health disclosure is a deal breaker, trying to figure out whether a struggling relationship is still worth fighting for, and realizing in hindsight that someone wasn’t quite who you thought they were.The common thread? You’re rarely going to get 100% certainty in early dating. Instead, you have to learn how to gather information, stay connected to your values, and make decisions based on what you actually know, not what you wish you knew.Submit a dating dilemmaIn this episode:How to choose between two people without turning dating into a competitionWhat to do when someone discloses an STI and you’re unsure how you feel about itHow to tell when someone is overwhelmed by life versus no longer prioritizing the relationshipWhat to make…

What if a first date is too easy and comfortable? This is the second episode of First Date Vibe Check, where I bring on listeners who are actively dating to walk through a recent first date with me, from how they met and planned the date to what actually happened and how they felt afterward.This time, I'm talking to Carol Ann, a 47-year-old single mom in the Midwest who met Zach on Hinge after taking a several-month break from dating. We're getting into her dating-app approach, the messaging that led to this first date, and how she's learned to trust her body. Carol Ann also shares her thoughts on the spark, the green flags she noticed along the way, and what happened after. Stay tuned for her update at the end.MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:Want to break down a first date with me on the pod? Apply here.Get the Date Tracker app so you can do your own vibe checks!THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS💗 Bellesa: EVERYONE gets a free Rose suction toy with EVERY single order! bboutique.co/vibe/datingintentionally-pod😎 Zenni: Get 15%…

Why do so many relationships seem to fall apart at around three months? You finally feel like things are going somewhere, and then suddenly, something shifts. In this episode, I'm breaking down the “three-month cliff” and what’s really happening when a promising relationship suddenly fizzles, pulls back, or ends.We’ll talk about:The 3 biggest reasons relationships fall apart around three monthsHow to tell whether it’s a genuine incompatibility, a commitment issue, or simply a lack of chemistrySigns that it's you or them (depending on the situation)How to actually make it past the three-month markWhy a three-month relationship that ends is NOT a failurePlus, I answer a dating dilemma from a 43-year-old man who is worried about eventually outliving his future partner.MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODEEpisode 285 with Chris Rackliffe about codependencyTHANKS TO OUR SPONSORS💗 Bellesa: EVERYONE gets a free Rose suction toy with EVERY single order! bboutique.co/vibe/datingintentionally-pod😎 Zenni: Get 15% off your first…

This is the first episode of a new series called First Date Vibe Check, where I bring on listeners who are actively dating to walk through a recent first date with me - how they met, how the date got planned, what actually happened, and how they felt afterward.First up is Savannah, a 30-year-old middle school teacher in California who's had a wild six months, including discovering the boyfriend she'd been dating for three months had a wife. We're discussing everything from why speed dating rebuilt her dating confidence to sending the first message when nobody reaches out to the exact moment a good first date starts to get awkward. Savannah also shares the shift that took the pressure off her first dates: you don't need to feel romantic feelings on date one; you just need to feel safe and curious.MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:Want to break down a first date with me on the pod? Apply here.Get the Date Tracker app so you can do your own vibe checks!THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS💗 Bellesa: EVERYONE gets a free Rose suction…

When you’re always the one texting first, planning the dates, and keeping a connection moving forward, it’s easy to start wondering: do they actually like me, or am I doing all the work?In this episode, I’m breaking down the truth about effort in dating: why some people initiate more than others, what someone’s effort actually tells you about their interest, and how to stop spiraling when someone goes quiet.Tune in for...What effort and initiation actually look like in dating (and why they matter)The real reasons someone might not initiate, and why the reason doesn’t change what you do nextThe one question to ask yourself when dating feels one-sided: do you want clarity, connection, or desire?The “I can’t tell” text and exactly when to send itWhy “if they wanted to, they would” is complicated dating adviceThe difference between having standards, setting boundaries, and trying to control someone’s behaviorWhy initiation chicken and wanting to be chased can keep you stuckHow multi-dating helped me stop…

Do you tend to go all in when you like someone, to the point where you've lost touch with your own life a bit? I'm chatting with Chris Rackliffe, an anxious attachment coach and author of Needy No More: The Journey from Anxious to Secure Attachment, who's helped thousands of people heal from patterns of trauma, abandonment, and codependency. We're getting into why we lose ourselves in dating and what to do about it.We cover:The earliest signs you're starting to abandon yourself when you meet someone newWhy resentment is the clearest signal a compromise has tipped into self-betrayalChris's framework for codependencyWhy guilt is proportional to how long you've been overriding your own needsHis concept of emotional diversification, and why spreading out your sources of connection is a protective strategy, not just something nice to haveHow to apply this whether you're in early dating or an established relationshipWhether opposite sleep schedules are actually a dealbreakerAt the end, we tackle a dating dilemma…

Rejection doesn't have to destroy your confidence or convince you that you'll never find your person. In this episode, I'm sharing how to bounce back faster after getting rejected, ghosted, or hearing "there wasn't a spark." We'll talk about why rejection feels so personal, how to stop the anxiety spirals before they take over, and the mindset shifts that will help you keep your self-worth intact while continuing to date intentionally.Tune in for...Why rejection feels so much bigger than it actually isHow to stop telling yourself hopeless stories after a "no"The 24-hour rule for bouncing back fasterPractical ways to stop anxiety spirals after rejectionWhat to say when someone rejects you (and what not to say)Why rejection isn't a reflection of your worthThe questions to ask yourself instead of "What's wrong with me?"My own experiences navigating rejection while datingWhether you've been ghosted before a first date or rejected after a few months of dating, this episode will help you move forward with more…

Is someone being "out of your league" even a real thing? In this episode, I'm chatting with relationship scientist and author Paul Eastwick (Bonded by Evolution: The New Science of Love and Connection) to unpack the science of mate value, why matchmaking based on shared traits almost never works, and what actually predicts compatibility (it's not the traits on your list).From decoding your own dating patterns to knowing when attraction is genuinely going to grow, this conversation is packed with practical, research-backed advice for anyone who feels stuck comparing partners against a checklist.In this episode, we cover:Why what you say you want in a partner doesn't predict who you actually chooseThe truth about mate value and dating "out of your league"Why matchmaking based on shared traits and interests rarely worksWhat actually predicts long-term compatibility (hint: it's not a trait)Why attraction often grows slowly instead of hitting all at onceWhether a strict list of dealbreakers helps or hurts youAt…

Dating today can be a mess, and so much of that mess stems from confusion, uncertainty, and ambiguity showing up in ways that just infuriate us. In this episode, I'm answering four listener dating dilemmas that each capture a different flavor of that chaos, from the planning-phase ghost to the partner whose humor crosses a line to the slow fade that sends you spiraling over someone you barely know. These aren't rare, one-off situations either. I hear versions of these same four patterns constantly, which is exactly why I wanted to break them down together. I'm covering:What to do when a guy keeps initiating dates that never actually happenWhy a plan without a set time, date, and location usually isn't a real plan at allHow to know if you're being "managerial" by helping plan a date, or just being reasonableHow to handle a new boyfriend whose "jokes" cross a real lineWhat it means when a partner says the only way to be with you is to suppress part of himselfWhether to say something when a casual connection's…

How do you actually get over a breakup, and why does it feel so impossible? In this episode, I'm chatting with author and mental health advocate Kelsey Darragh to unpack the science of heartbreak, why no-contact is so difficult, and what actually helps you move forward after a breakup (It's not the closure moment you think it is).From healing after a long-term relationship to knowing when you're ready to date again, this conversation is packed with practical advice for anyone struggling to let go of an ex or rebuild trust in love.In this episode, we cover:Why the story you tell yourself about your breakup mattersThe psychology behind no-contact (and how to stick with it)The truth about where closure comes fromHow to know when you're ready to date againHeartbreak vs. mental health: when to seek extra supportWhether you should tell a new partner about mistakes you've made in past relationshipsAt the end, we tackle a dating dilemma about whether you need to disclose past cheating before entering a new…

Not sure who's worthy of a first date? In this episode, I'm sharing my exact process for deciding who gets a first date, including the one screening step I wish I'd done more of before meeting people in person.The 3 questions to ask yourself before meeting someoneWhat's actually worth paying attention to on a profile (and what to ignore)Why over-vetting someone like a job interview backfiresHow texting for too long creates a false sense of intimacyWhy a quick phone or video screening call beats weeks of DMsHow vetting works differently when you meet someone offline vs. on the appsAt the end, I tackle a dating dilemma from a woman whose boyfriend of three months lied about his age.MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODEHow to nail a first date from start to finishTHANKS TO OUR SPONSORSEVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE toy or gift card! bbvibes.com/DatingIntentionallyFREE STUFFDating Guides: 90 questions, FAQ, text templates & moreCONNECT WITH MESubmit a dating dilemmaSlide into my DMs on IGWatch the pod on YouTube See…

It's finale week, which means we're wrapping up this season of Love Island Lessons with five final dating takeaways from Love Island USA Season 8. In this episode, I'm breaking down why exclusivity has a place in modern dating (and why it's not the same as being in a situationship), how to recognize breadcrumbing before you get emotionally invested, and why waiting for someone to change is one of the biggest traps you can fall into. I also share my thoughts on what the compatibility challenge got wrong and why meeting the family is such a meaningful milestone in a relationship. Plus, we recap the finale couples, the winners, and the biggest dating lessons from the villa.MENTIONED IN THIS EPTips for meeting the parents (and other relationship firsts)How to tell if you're compatible before you catch feelingsCONNECT WITH ME:⁠Slide into my DMs on IG @dating.intentionallyMORE FREE ADVICE & CONTENT⁠Get more dating advice from me on YouTube⁠SUPPORT THE POD⁠Rate on Apple See Privacy Policy at…

In this episode, I sit down with Hinge's Love & Connection Expert, licensed marriage and family therapist Moe Ari Brown, to unpack what Hinge's latest LGBTQIA+ D.A.T.E. Report reveals about modern dating. We dive into why so many first dates feel like they're going nowhere, the surprising "question deficit" that's making it harder to build connection, and why clarity is becoming one of the most attractive qualities in dating today.You'll learn...Why so many people aren't asking enough questions on dates and how it's impacting attraction.The best first date habits that actually lead to stronger connections.What Hinge's latest dating research reveals about how dating is changing in 2026.Why uncertainty is making people more intentional about what they want in a partner.The difference between saying you're emotionally available and actually showing it.How to communicate your intentions without killing the vibe.Why consistency matters more than grand romantic gestures.The case for embracing a slow burnHow to…

Summer dating is the best, IMO. Vacation flings, coordinating dates when everyone's going away, dating app struggles and more - we get into it all in this guide to dating in the summer. At the end, I tackle a dating dilemma about a promising Hinge connection that fizzled out after both people traveled, and how to tell the difference between someone losing interest and your own anxiety talking.You'll learn...The conversation you need to have before you/they travelThe biggest dating app mistake to avoid in the summerMy tips for getting to the date quickly even when people's schedules are crazyAdvice for deciding to take a break (or not) this summerHow to navigate a vacation romance without the heartbreak and dramaMENTIONED IN THIS EPEp 277 with Camille Virginia about meeting people IRLEp 249 with Eric Resnick about revamping your dating app profileEp 186 on how (and when) to take a dating breakThe waitlist for Date Tracker, my new dating journaling app coming soon!THANKS TO OUR SPONSORSEVERYONE who signs up…

Movie Night brought the drama and lots of lessons to learn about dating. I’m watching Love Island USA Season 8 to draw real-life dating lessons from it. This week (Episodes 23–29), I’m breaking down why feeling stressed more often than at peace is a major red flag, why even well-meaning friends can give terrible dating advice, and why you should check in with a friend before pursuing someone they're interested in. I also get into a better way to have the exclusivity conversation, what it actually takes to rebuild trust after betrayal, and why "fixing" a relationship is never one person's job. Plus, I share my thoughts on the aftermath of Movie Night and what all the chaos can teach us about healthy relationships.MENTIONED IN THIS EPTips for becoming exclusive in datingHow to define the relationshipCONNECT WITH ME:⁠Slide into my DMs on IG @dating.intentionallyMORE FREE ADVICE & CONTENT⁠Get more dating advice from me on YouTube⁠SUPPORT THE POD⁠Rate on Apple See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and…

Approachability is a skill you can learn. I'm chatting with Camille Virginia, author of The Offline Dating Method and founder of Master Offline Dating, who went from a socially anxious introvert to one of the leading voices on meeting people in real life. I LOVE her book and this convo was so helpful.We get into:Where "high quality" like-minded single people are (and why you keep missing them)The limiting beliefs holding you back more than a lack of single peopleHow to create a meaningful connection before you ever ask someone outReading the signals that someone is open to being approachedSending signals that you're open to being approachedAt the end, we tackle a dating dilemma about how to safely and gracefully exit a date that's gone wrong.CONNECT WITH CAMILLECamille's InstagramCamille's websiteTHANKS TO OUR PARTNERSEnter to win Bellesa products! bbvibes.com/DatingIntentionallyCONNECT WITH ME:⁠Slide into my DMs on IG @dating.intentionallyMORE FREE ADVICE & CONTENTDownload my free dating guides (texting,…

In this episode, I'm getting into how to gain more certainty in dating by figuring out if you're actually compatible with someone before you're in too deep emotionally. I'm breaking down the three tiers of compatibility (the big stuff, the important stuff, and the emotional stuff), the five things to look for in the first month of getting to know someone, and three ways to actually start building compatibility early on instead of waiting around to "discover" it. I also do a quick gut check for anyone seeing someone right now, plus why chemistry alone can never carry a relationship long-term and how Johnny and I built our own little love languages over time. At the end, I tackle a dating dilemma from a woman whose date ghosted her after they slept together on date two.MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODEDownload 90+ dating questionsTHANKS TO OUR PARTNERSQuince: Get 10% off and 365-day returns at quince.com/taliaCONNECT WITH ME:⁠Slide into my DMs on IG @dating.intentionallyMORE FREE ADVICE & CONTENT⁠Get more dating…

Casa Amor has officially arrived, and it exposed exactly why so many dating connections fall apart. I’m watching Love Island USA Season 8 to pull real-life dating lessons from the villa. This week (Week 4, Episodes 16–21), I’m breaking down why scorekeeping is a losing strategy, what having high standards actually looks like, and why asking about someone else's dating life too early can backfire. I also get into the red flag behind "I was just joking," why toxic attachments can feel stronger than healthy connections, and how hope can keep us stuck in relationships that aren't actually right for us. There's a lot to unpack after Casa Amor.THANKS TO OUR SPONSORSQuince: Get 10% off and 365-day returns at quince.com/taliaCONNECT WITH ME:⁠Slide into my DMs on IG @dating.intentionallyMORE FREE ADVICE & CONTENT⁠Get more dating advice from me on YouTube⁠SUPPORT THE POD⁠Rate on Apple See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I'm chatting with Jacob Lucas, a dating coach who went from the boxing world to building a huge online following, helping people date with intention. We're discussing everything from his "love at first sight" story with his wife (and why he didn't act on those intense early feelings) to the difference between your gut instinct and your anxiety, to why some people text constantly but never actually make plans. Jacob also breaks down how to invite physical touch rather than force it, and why the right person never gets scared off by your boundaries. At the end, we tackle four listener dating dilemmas about long-distance dating with a busy partner, shooting your shot a second time, handling a too-touchy first date, and what to do when the conversation never goes below the surface.CONNECT WITH JACOBInstagram & TikTok: @jacoblucas101YouTube: Jacob Lucas Dating CoachTHANKS TO OUR SPONSORSQuince: Get 10% off and 365-day returns at quince.com/taliaCONNECT WITH ME:⁠Slide into my DMs on IG @dating.intentionallyMORE…

How much can you really know about someone after three dates? Not enough to know if they're your forever person, but definitely enough to spot signs that they're worth continuing to get to know. In this episode, I'm breaking down 10 green flags to look for on the first few dates that tell you to keep going! We'll talk about the difference between real green flags and behaviors that only look promising, why consistency matters more than chemistry, and how to tell whether someone's actions actually match their words.You'll learn:The #1 green flag that creates connection quicklyWhy initiative and follow-through are different (and why you need both)How to tell if someone is rushing the connectionThe role consistency plays in building trustWhat someone's relationship history can reveal about themWhy feeling calm around someone is often a better sign than feeling a sparkGreen flags submitted by listeners from their own dating experiencesBehaviors that seem like green flags—but aren'tPlus, I answer a Dating Dilemma…

Things are not looking good for the islander's connections, and we can learn a lot about dating just from spotting the early signs things won't work out. I’m watching Love Island USA Season 8 to pull real-life dating lessons from the villa. This week (Week 3, Episodes 10–15), I’m breaking down what happens when you rush physical intimacy too soon, why emotional repair breaks down in early relationships, and how defensiveness can quietly destroy a connection before it ever has a chance. I also get into the importance of multi-dating in early stages, why slow-burn connections built on friendship can actually be stronger than instant chemistry, and how extreme highs and lows are often a huge red flag. So much to unpack here.THANKS TO OUR SPONSORSQuince: Get 10% off and 365-day returns at quince.com/taliaCONNECT WITH ME:⁠Slide into my DMs on IG @dating.intentionallyMORE FREE ADVICE & CONTENT⁠Get more dating advice from me on YouTube⁠SUPPORT THE POD⁠Rate on Apple See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy…

I'm chatting with Amanda McCracken, author of When Longing Becomes Your Lover, about the psychology term taking over dating culture: limerence. We're discussing everything from the difference between a crush and full-blown limerence to how ADHD can fuel the dopamine chase, why distance and uncertainty make feelings burn brighter, and how Amanda finally took her real-life crushes off the pedestal. Amanda also shares how she identified as a late-in-life virgin into her forties, and how she eventually built the secure, "boring," trusting relationship she once avoided. At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma about a casual hookup that turned into real feelings, right before he moved several states away.MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODEBook: When Longing Becomes Your Lover: Breaking from Infatuation, Rejection, and Perfectionism to Find Authentic Love Amanda's work: www.amandajmccracken.comInstagram: @AmandaJMcCrackenPodcast: The Longing LabTHANKS TO OUR PARTNERSQuince: Get 10% off and 365-day returns at…

We have five new dating dilemmas! I'm answering listener questions about uneven effort, intense early connections, addiction recovery, confusing endings, and relationships that move way too fast.I get into...What it means when you're always the one initiating datesHow to tell the difference between interest and investmentWhy we ignore red flags when we're excited about someoneThe mistake people make after noticing a shift in someone's behaviorWhether it's too risky to date someone in addiction recoveryIf sending a "close the loop" text is actually worth itWhat to do when a new relationship is moving at lightning speedWhy trying to decode someone's feelings often keeps you stuckIf you've ever found yourself wondering, "am I overreacting?" or spending more time analyzing someone's behavior than evaluating whether the relationship is working for you, this episode is for you.MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODEFree dating FAQ guide: datingintentionally.com/giftClose the loop text templates on IGTHANKS TO OUR…

What can we learn about dating from Love Island? Turns out - a lot. I'm watching Love Island USA Season 8 to pull real-life dating takeaways from the villa. This week (episodes 5-9), I'm getting into early dating expectations, knowing your needs, and how important it is to let someone show you who they are. Actions speak louder than words every time. I also talk about how people pleasing can be harmful and why it's GOOD that secure relationships feel boring. So much to unpack here.THANKS TO OUR SPONSORSQuince: Get 10% off and 365-day returns at quince.com/taliaCONNECT WITH ME:⁠Slide into my DMs on IG @dating.intentionallyMORE FREE ADVICE & CONTENT⁠Get more dating advice from me on YouTube⁠SUPPORT THE POD⁠Rate on Apple See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Have you read or heard of the book Attached? I'm chatting with Dr. Amir Levine, psychiatrist, neuroscientist, and author of Secure and co-author of Attached, a book that has indefinitely changed my life. In this episode, we break down exactly how to attract and spot a securely attached person in early dating, and how to build more security in your life (whether you're in a relationship or not). At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma from a listener who flew across the country for a guy who then changed his mind.You'll learn...All about Dr. Levine's CARP and SIMI frameworksWhy CARP should be your new non-negotiable dating standardHow to do a "CARP intervention" early without it feeling like a big emotional conversationWhy a secure relationship is supposed to feel boringThe strategy for distancing yourself from someone who isn't meeting your standardsWhy most of us already have secure people in our lives and keep ignoring themHow your attachment style can be totally different with different people (yes, even…

In this episode, I'm walking you through everything you need to nail a first date, from confirming the time and getting in the right mindset to navigating the conversation, handling the check, and knowing whether to go in for the kiss. This episode originally aired in January 2024/ At the end, I tackle a new dating dilemma about a woman who's dating a guy who didn't acknowledge her birthday.You'll learn...Six mindset tips for a first dateMy fave low-pressure first date questionsWhat to do when your date isn't pulling their weightWho pays for the first date?Why you should NEVER plan date two on date oneMENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE90+ questions to ask your date!My dating "rules" episodeAnti-Ghost text templatesRelationship Needs Masterclass - June 22 & 29THANKS TO OUR SPONSORSQuince: Get 10% off and 365-day returns at quince.com/taliaCONNECT WITH ME:⁠Slide into my DMs on IG @dating.intentionallyMORE FREE ADVICE & CONTENT⁠Get more dating advice from me on YouTube⁠SUPPORT THE POD⁠Rate on Apple See Privacy Policy at…

I’m Talia, host of Dating Intentionally, and I’m kicking off a six-week “Love Island Lessons” series alongside Love Island USA Season 8 (spoilers for episodes 1–4) to pull real-life dating takeaways from the villa. Tune in to hear me break down five key lessons about early dating we learned this week in the villa: why trying to be chosen keeps you stuck, how jumping to conclusions pushes people away and tips for navigating a dating culture where multi-dating is the norm. I'm sharing my biggest gripe about first interactions on the show, which can teach us how to have better first dates. THANKS TO OUR SPONSORSQuince: Get 10% off and 365-day returns at quince.com/taliaCONNECT WITH ME:⁠Slide into my DMs on IG @dating.intentionallyMORE FREE ADVICE & CONTENT⁠Get more dating advice from me on YouTube⁠SUPPORT THE POD⁠Rate on Apple See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I'm chatting with my best friend Rachel Saslaw, founder of Storytell NYC. She talks about how she spent six years actively dating before landing a committed relationship with an amazing match in an unexpected way. We're discussing everything from why she refused to subscribe to the "men suck" mentality to using dating as a training ground for self-discovery to the "flirting with life" energy that shifted everything. At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma about a guy who went quiet right before a planned first date, then resurfaced at the last minute with a long explanation.YOU'LL LEARN...Why hating men won't help you date men (same goes for men dating women!)How to set a "minimum viable goal" for dating when your calendar is packedWhy the most aligned version of you is the one who attracts the right personHow to give a new person a blank slate after you've been burnedThe case for grieving your single years and not racing past themWhy low-barrier first dates (the coffee walk) beat the high-stakes…

In this episode, I'm breaking down the 3 core mistakes that lead people to commit to the wrong person. It's not a broken picker or a shortage of good people out there. I'm covering why dating for potential keeps you stuck, what happens when you don't know or can't communicate your non-negotiable needs, and why ignoring your gut (which is quieter than anxiety) almost always backfires. I share my own stories from past relationships, what these mistakes actually look like in real time, and what to focus on instead, so you can choose someone you don't have to abandon yourself to keep. MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODEDownload my free dating guides (texting, reflections, FAQ)Relationship Needs MasterclassHow To Leave Your SituationshipTHANKS TO OUR SPONSORSQuince: Get 10% off and 365-day returns at quince.com/taliaCONNECT WITH ME:⁠Slide into my DMs on IG @dating.intentionallyMORE FREE ADVICE & CONTENT⁠Get more dating advice from me on YouTube⁠SUPPORT THE POD⁠Rate on Apple See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy…

This episode originally aired on Sex Ed with DB! In Sleepless in Seattle, a woman hears a stranger’s voice on the radio and decides she has to be with him. A few cross-country flights, some light stalking, and one dramatic Empire State Building finale later. Was it a recipe for true love? Or just another rom-com ignoring boundaries in the name of "destiny?"In this episode, I joined DB to unpack the film’s gender dynamics, its borderline obsessive premise, and why rom-coms always overlook the stable, reliable guy.THANKS TO OUR PARTNERSBoll & Branch: Get 15% off the softest bedding at bollandbranch.com/datingQuince: Get 10% off and 365-day returns at quince.com/taliaWayfair: Get your outdoor space summer-ready! wayfair.comCONNECT WITH ME:⁠Slide into my DMs on IG @dating.intentionallyMORE FREE ADVICE & CONTENTDownload my free dating guides (texting, reflections, FAQ)⁠Get more dating advice from me on YouTube⁠SUPPORT THE POD⁠Rate on Apple See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy…

I'm chatting with Sandy Weiner, a dating coach who has spent 13 years helping people date after divorce, and started her own dating journey at 52 after leaving a 23-year marriage. We're discussing everything from knowing when you're actually ready to date again to navigating the "jaded factor" in midlife dating to having the dating conversation with your kids (at any age). Sandy also shares why being picky about what matters and wide open about what doesn't is the mindset shift most people miss, plus how she creatively meets people offline through meetups, classes, and even emailing her network with her dating profile. At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma from a 51-year-old single mom in a casual situation with a separated 43-year-old, and whether she should walk away or stay.CONNECT WITH SANDYLast First Date RadioSandy's IGTHANKS TO OUR PARTNERSBoll & Branch: Get 15% off the softest bedding at bollandbranch.com/datingQuince: Get 10% off and 365-day returns at quince.com/taliaWayfair: Get your outdoor…

Communication is the most important thing in a relationship, but no one tells you what good communication actually looks like in practice. In this episode, I'm getting into relationship check-ins: the structured conversations my husband, Johnny, and I have had about 70 times over three years, and the single biggest reason our day-to-day relationship is virtually tension-free. I'm walking you through the exact questions we use (based on the Gottman State of the Union method, with our own additions), how check-ins have actually changed our relationship over time, when to start doing them, how to bring it up with your partner without making it weird, what to do if things get heated, and the most common mistakes people make. At the end, I tackle a dating dilemma about whether to give a great connection another shot after months apart.MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODEMy original episode on check-ins (ep 14)The Gottman State Of The Union check-in formatMy post on other check-in formatsFree dating guides:…

I'm chatting with Trevor Hanson, a licensed marriage and family therapist. He and his team at The Art Of Healing help people move from anxious attachment to secure attachment in a structured, results-oriented way. We get into what anxious attachment actually looks like in dating for both men and women, why you can feel totally secure when you're single but completely fall apart once a relationship starts, and what emotionally corrective experiences are, and why they're what actually rewires your nervous system, not just reading more books or gaining more self-awareness. Trevor also shares why you don't need to be fully healed before you date, how conflict, followed by repair, builds real security over time, the problem with using AI to write your texts, and more. At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma from a guy who's not sure how to follow up after sending someone a rose on Hinge.CONNECT WITH TREVORTrevor's IGTHANKS TO OUR PARTNERSBoll & Branch: Get 15% off the softest bedding at…

Emotional availability is one of the most desired traits in a partner, but it's so hard to find. In this episode, I'm walking through four real listener dilemmas that show how emotional unavailability actually shows up: from being blindsided by a breakup after a seemingly perfect relationship, to oversharing too early with someone you barely know, to getting stuck in a months-long holding pattern, to wondering if your sky-high standards are actually a wall. I'm breaking down what emotional availability really looks like, why "chasing the feeling" keeps people stuck, and how to start recognizing emotional availability so you don't miss it.MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODEEpisode 152 - a deeper dive on emotional unavailabilityEpisode 217 - with Julia Kristina, a therapist and expert on emotional intelligence and maturityEpisode 255 - healing anxious attachment with Rebecca OreTHANKS TO OUR PARTNERSBoll & Branch: Get 15% off the softest bedding at bollandbranch.com/datingQuince: Get 10% off and 365-day returns at…

I'm chatting with Hanna Anderson and Mackenzie Foltz, the co-hosts of The Dating Detectives, a podcast that combines real PI work with deeply ethical storytelling about people who got conned in love. We're discussing everything from what "dogfishing" actually is (and how it's different from catfishing) to the subtle early red flags most people miss, to why love bombing feels so good even when it's a setup. Mackenzie and Hanna also share their PI-approved guide to vetting someone you're dating without feeling "crazy," including the exact line to use when you've found something on them, plus practical safety tools every single person should know about. At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma about a guy who keeps liking other women's photos on Instagram after being asked to stop.MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE"The Origin Story" — the case that inspired the showThe crypto catfish (FaceTime sob story episode)The "time-traveling" investor episode The Twitter vegan episodeThe "evil stepmother" episodeMy guest appearance…

In this episode, I'm covering how attraction actually works when you're dating for a long-term relationship, from how to know if you're attracted to someone and what's "enough," to how long to give it before walking away, to how attraction can grow over time and what it actually takes for that to happen. I'm also answering a few listener questions, and at the end, I tackle a dating dilemma about a confusing Bumble interaction.MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODEFree dating FAQ guideStop looking for attraction on the first dateDating outside your typeFlirting tips episode THANKS TO OUR PARTNERSBoll & Branch: Get 15% off the softest bedding at bollandbranch.com/datingQuince: Get 10% off and 365-day returns at quince.com/taliaCONNECT WITH ME:⁠Slide into my DMs on IG @dating.intentionallyMORE FREE ADVICE & CONTENTDownload my free dating guides (texting, reflections, FAQ)⁠Get more dating advice from me on YouTube⁠SUPPORT THE POD⁠Rate on Apple See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at…