Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet

I'm going to bury you with your comrades.We're on tour! Get your tickets for our remaining Louisville & Nashville shows at beachtoosandy.comGo to homechef.com/beachtoosandy for 50% off your first box and free dessert for life! Join the millions of customers who trust HomeServe. For 50% less your first year, go to homeserve.com/bts.Get $25 off your first purchase when you go to therealreal.com/beach.Dipsea is giving our listeners their first week free and then 25% off after that, when you sign up at dipseastories.com/beach.Book a complimentary financial planning call with an Arca advisor at arcawealth.com/beach. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Does your eggplant come with skin?Nutrafol is offering our listeners $15 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit nutrafol.com and enter promo code BEACHTOOSANDY. Thousands of people are already using Rula to get affordable, high-quality therapy that’s actually covered by insurance. Visit rula.com/beachtoosandy to get started.Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.Treat, don’t trick, your teeth this month and go to shopremi.com/beach and use code BEACH at checkout for 50% off with Remi Club.Upgrade your sleep with Boll & Branch. Get 15% off your first order plus free shipping at bollandbranch.com/toosandy with code TOOSANDY. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I wouldn't ask for underwear if I didn't need the underwear.Listen to Who Shat on the Floor at my Wedding? And Other Crimes wherever you get your podcasts and visit whoshatontheflooratmywedding.com for more!For a limited time our listeners are getting a free full sized Mascara on their first purchase when they head to jonesroadbeauty.com and use code BEACHTOOSANDY at checkout. Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for 15% off your first order, plus free shipping on all US orders over $65.Head to talkiatry.com/beach to complete the short assessment and get matched with an in‐network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at rocketmoney.com/beach.Visit Progressive.com and see if you can enjoy a little extra cash back. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A belly full of white dog turds.Right now, Fi is offering my listeners up to 30% off and free shipping when you visit fitracking.com and enter promo code BEACH.“Treat, don’t trick, your teeth this month and go to shopremi.com/beach and use code BEACH at checkout for 50% off with Remi Club. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I hate when they put wang in my food.Follow Michelle on Instagram at @michcoll or @The Michelle Collins ShowWe're going on tour! Buy tickets at https://www.beachtoosandy.com/Book a complimentary financial planning call with an Arca advisor at arcawealth.com/beach.Go to dipseastories.com/beach for your first week FREE - then 25% off. Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit nutrafol.com and enter promo code BEACHTOOSANDY. Visit progressive.com and see if you can enjoy a little extra cash back. Get $25 off your first purchase when you go to t therealreal.com/beach.Head to talkiatry.com/beach to complete the short assessment and get matched with an in‐network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A stained crotch is not the experience we wanted for you.Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for 15% off your first order, plus free shipping on all US orders over $65.Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to quince.com/beachtoosandy.For a limited time get 40% off your first order PLUS get a free item in every box for life. Go to hungryroot.com/beachtoosandy and use code BEACHTOOSANDY.Get 15% off your first order plus free shipping at bollandbranch.com/toosandy with code TOOSANDY.Visit progressive.com after this episode to see if you could save. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Mona Lisa, a dildo, or a pug? See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Just a bunch of angry elves.Support Smoking Werewolf Productions here: https://gofund.me/5766bf50d See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

R-r-r-r-remix See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Anything that contains and can contain is contained within the container. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Even Kazoo people use toothpaste. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Two people wanted to vomit and no one did. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

If they don't care about ducks, they don't care about you either. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How do you think shoes feel about being entered by feet? See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A cucumber is not an avocado. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Statistically speaking you're probably no longer a listener. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This stuff literally tastes like blue cheese and smells like cat piss. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Nothing about carrots makes me think bougie See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Soggy White Bread was my nickname in high school. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

If they remove the froyo it'll make my life a living hell. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Shakespeare coined that term hangy downy bits.Go to homechef.com/beachtoosandy for 50% OFF your first box and free dessert for life! Right now, Skylight is offering our listeners $30 off their 15 inch Calendars by going to myskylight.com/beach.Visit progressive.com and give the Name Your Price® tool a try. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at rocketmoney.com/beach See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hyperspermia, which was new to meVisit Progressive.com and give the Name Your Price® tool a try. For a limited time, Honeylove is offering up to 50% off sitewide during their Memorial Day sale. Use our exclusive link to shop at honeylove.com/beachtoosandy.Go to shopremi.com/beach and use code BEACH at checkout for 50% off with Remi Club Subscribe & Save.Start your business today with the industry’s best business partner, Shopify. Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at shopify.com/toosandy.Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for fifteen percent off your first order. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get thee to a gnomery!Visit progressive.com and see if you can enjoy a little extra cash back.For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit nutrafol.com and enter code BEACHTOOSANDY.For a limited time, Home Chef is offering my listeners 50% off and free shipping for your first box PLUS free dessert for life! Go to homechef.com/beachtoosandy.Head to quince.com/beachtoosandy for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.Head to talkiatry.com/beach to complete the short assessment and get matched with an in‐network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Look at them yo-yos, that's the way you do it. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Debbie's getting off on this power trip… as she should See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring.... See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Rumors have gotten started that I have irritable bowel syndrome. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A world of regret awaits you at Mammoth Cave See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Sarah what the fuck is your problem? See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

She could probably beat up some seven year olds and she could definitely beat up some zero year olds See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Aries are going through it right now See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It's the moon, but worse. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I got humped in the faceHungryroot: For a limited time get 40% off your first box PLUS get a free item in every box for life at hungryroot.com/beachtoosandy code: BEACHTOOSANDYMomentous: Head to livemomentous.com, and use promo code BEACH for up to 35% off your first orderRocket Money: Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at rocketmoney.com/beachASPCA: Go to aspcapetinsurance.com/toosandyProgressive: Save time on the research and enjoy savings when you choose the best rate for you at progressive.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The cookies didn't compensate for the abuse. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You can't spell spent without repent! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Don't worry, we fired Diane for that. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We're going to Ibiza!Hungryroot: For a limited time get 40% off your first box plus get a free item in every box for life at hungryroot.com/beachtoosandy and use code beachtoosandyTalkiatry: Head to talkiatry.com/beach and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in‐network psychiatrist in just a few minutes See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Chef name was Edwin, very sensual and playful with his entertainment.Watch For Your Amusement at https://www.youtube.com/@fyapod and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I put a 2 million dollar puzzle together and all I got was this lousy QR code See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We told you not to put the egg topper in the dishwasher. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Call the Locksmith!!! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Guess what, busters! Guess what, busters? See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Happy wonderwall to you and yours and bApp. --SPONSORS:Check out https://boxiecat.com/beach for a discount on BoxieCat's self-cleaning litter! --We have merch!! https://www.beachtoosandy.store See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

2 surfs,a quick dance, a few mushrooms and 2 giant connect 4 games See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Sorry, pet communicators. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is gonna ruin the tour... What tour? The moose tour.Check out The Commercial Break! https://www.tcbpodcast.comFollow Bryan! https://instagram.com/bryanwgreen See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

My soup is full of eels. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

To see Xandy at his most athletic, check out our Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/beachtoosandyWe also have new merch!! https://www.beachtoosandy.store See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Give us money so Christine can buy more Labubus for her legion: www.patreon.com/BeachTooSandy See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Tune in next week for 364: Reviews of Great Wolf Spider LodgeStuff here: www.beachtoosandy.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.